Posted in Life Over 50

Looking Back In Much Thought At My Life’s Journey

I ran across this picture the other day, and suddenly I was LOOKING BACK IN MUCH THOUGHT AT MY LIFE’S JOURNEY these past few years. I’ve been trying to better organize my pictures, heaven knows how badly they are UN-organized! When my job is PICTURES, it’s easy to let it all get out of control! It’s definitely a work in progress!

This picture was taken at the Salt Lake Library in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a Saturday. It was taken by husband…. AT THAT TIME. I had been married almost 40 years. I always wanted Saturdays to be different, to be happy, to be something to look forward to. But at this time in my life I was at one of the lowest points ever. I was scared. I was extremely stressed. I ached inside. I was so confused. In some ways I hate to look back, because it brings back all the sick feelings of what was going on in my life. But then in other ways I don’t ever want to forget them, and I think it’s so important to look back at the progress.

I remember during this time, literally taking baby steps. Getting through one week, one day, one hour. I was engulfing myself in my work to keep my mind off of reality. It was the only way I knew how to cope. I have always been VERY GOOD at covering up what REALLY IS GOING ON. I became a master at it throughout my marriage. I never wanted to leave, knowing that there might be one more thing I could have done to “save” it. When I finally left….. I ABSOLUTELY KNEW (and GOD KNEW) that I had done EVERYTHING.

I was always, and still am, a pretty private person. I wonder how I would have handled my situation differently if I had let more people in to my life. I have the tendency to seclude myself from others during hard times. I was afraid of the questions and the having to “pretend my life was just fine”. Do you let people in to your troubles? Or do you try and handle them bravely on your own with very little help from people? The only one I felt I could really talk to was God, and one very close cousin. That’s it. My parent’s didn’t know, my kids didn’t know, my closest friends didn’t know what was REALLY going on.

I’m so glad to be through that storm. Looking back in much thought at my life’s journey, I’m so happy to know that the woman in this picture has grown tremendously. She’s gotten braver, more confident, she’s much happier, she’s content, she feels safe, and she’s GRATEFUL!

Whatever your pictures will tell in a few years down the road…. hopefully you’re growing along the way in to something better! I hope you’re able to recognize that growth as A PART OF LIFE! Take care friends!

Shauna XO

RELATED POST IS HERE

I’ve linked up a similar look here for you to put together this outfit!

26 thoughts on “Looking Back In Much Thought At My Life’s Journey”

    1. Kim…… you are welcome. I hope you are doing good now??? The storm always feels like it takes forever to get through, but it WILL PASS! Take care sweet friend and stop by again soon! XO

  2. I am elated for ALL that you have now! I remember those days, people asking “where’s your wedding ring?” I’m so happy you discovered exactly how strong you are…it completes the perfect package of …YOU!

    1. Cheryl…. you are the sweetest! We need to meet some day! Thank you ALWAYS for your support! It means the world to me! XOXO

    1. Hi Lisa…. THANK YOU. It takes time to feel like you can share some of these very personal things. I know I relied heavily on other women’s experiences to get me through to a BETTER LIFE! THANKS for stopping by and hope to hear from you again soon! Take care girl! XO

  5. Girl, don’t beat up on yourself. I told lots of people, my family, friends. They all bought the pretty picture. They all bought the “oh Sandy, you’re exaggerating. He’s a great guy” they ALL bought the She’s crazy story from him.
    Even after I ended up driving myself to the ER. They talked me OUT OF filing charges, guilted me into giving him another chance.
    Girl, it took 2 more years for me to file for divorce and 4 months later, when he threatened to blow my brains out with the unregistered gun from WWII , I threw some clothes into my car and ran away from home at age 55.

  6. Hello Sandy and THANK YOU for stopping by! Being in a relationship like this is SO CONFUSING at times. You want so bad for it to work out, and most people who are the abusers are very manipulative. I could be talked out of all “MY CRAZY IMAGINATIONS” in about 30 minutes. So I totally get what you’re saying! I’m glad you found the courage to leave. I HOPE THAT YOU ARE HAPPY and PEACEFUL and FEEL SAFE! Thanks girl and take care! XO

  7. Your current pictures exude happiness! I left my marriage of 32 years and I feel that I have blossomed into who I was meant to be. I am much more confident and happy! It is indeed hard to take that first step into the unknown, but God’s got us every step of the way!

    1. Hello Rene’….. isn’t it a WONDERFUL FEELING to really truly know that GOD does have us every step of the way?! He’s in the very details of our lives! Take care sweet friend and HAPPY FOR YOU TOO! XOXOXO

  8. Your current pictures exude happiness! I left a marriage of. 32 years and have not looked back!

  9. When I finally told they told me to stay & work it out. Like I hadn’t been trying for years & years. Crying in the bottom of the shower or the rare times alone in the car to have the strength to just get through one more day. When he opened the car door & tried to shove my eldest out whilst speeding down the road, and my son had the courage to tell me why she was terrified & bawling, that’s when I found my own courage. I called my closest friend, who showed up in her truck, her fiancé in his, and her brother in his. They packed us up & drove off with us. Here I am, over 23 years later, happily married to my rock, my best friend, for 21 years. My kids grown & have given me the most amazing grandkids. That friend was up recently to celebrate our anniversary with us, I still cry tears of thanks when I see her…there aren’t words enough to thank her for rescuing us!

    1. Chelle……. WOW! I got the goosebumps reading this. It’s a scary thing that what we LIVE through becomes NORMAL AND SAFE to us, which then becomes very very hard to leave. Thank heavens for those FRIENDS! Mine was my cousin. I’m so glad that YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR HAPPINESS too!!!!! Bless you sweet lady! XO

    1. Isobel…… THANK YOU SWEET LADY! Seriously it means so much to me that you would say this! God bless you! Stop by again soon!!! XO

  11. The worst mistake women make is to NOT share their struggles!!
    Sharing empowers you-makes you feel like you are so not alone -you get strength from others during our crisis moments -which we all have in life!!
    Glad you are at peace now

    1. Roxy…… I’m learning that for sure. I’ve been private about things because there are others involved (my children). Knowing that I’ve been given this platform or this VOICE, has given me the courage to share with all those other women out there, that don’t have the courage and strength to change their paths. Thank you very much for your comment! Hope to chat again soon! XO

  12. Shauna,
    You are an amazing woman. Every time I was in your home, I appreciated what a strong person you are. I knew that things were not good, but you always put a smile on your face and tried to press forward. I admire you and I’m grateful that your life has improved.

    1. Hi Kathy….. it’s SO GOOD to hear from you. And THANK YOU for your kind words. I hope you REALLY REALLY know that your visits were so much appreciated. You brought such a sweet spirit in to my home and I clung on to that until the next time you came. THANK YOU for your messages and lessons and examples of what a marriage should be. I hope you’re all doing great! I miss seeing you all! If you’re ever in St. George let me know and I would love to introduce you to my SWEET SWEET HUSBAND. XO

  13. Thanks for sharing. Courage, strength and grace. Divorce is not easy but can be very healing. Please continue to grow and share!

    1. Thank you very much Jocelyn. You’re very sweet to stop by! And YES! I TOTALLY AGREE! Take care and come back soon! XO

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