STRUGGLING WITH AGING AT 66 ~ CONFIDENCE, BEAUTY, & LEARNING TO ACCEPT CHANGE
I’m going to be really honest here…. probably more honest than I’ve ever been on this blog.
I’m not aging as gracefully as I thought. Lately, I’ve been struggling with getting older. Not in a graceful, “I’ve accepted it” kind of way… but in a real, emotional, uncomfortable way. In my head, I still think I should be able to look like I did in my 40s. I know that’s not realistic, I really do, but that doesn’t stop the thoughts. My skin is changing. I’m noticing cellulite I didn’t used to have. Things are dropping, shifting, and softening. Ugh!!!!!
In THIS BLOG I just scratched the surface.
So many women have found (and I was one of them) that botox gives such a lift…. quite literally! This past year, my botox has stopped working. What? I mostly just got it in my 11’s, and haven’t used it for that many years (8-10), but loved the difference it made in my face. When it stopped working my aesthetician told me that there’s a small percentage when this can happen, and lucky me I was one of them! I didn’t expect that to bother me as much as it has. My 60’s have made me feel like I crossed some invisible line into “old,” and I wasn’t ready for that.
Why is that so hard for me to admit?
WHEN COMPLIMENTS DON’T SINK IN
My husband tells me all the time that I’m beautiful, that I look cute, that I’m doing great….. and I don’t take that for granted. But, I want it to affect me. I really do. But if I’m honest, sometimes it just doesn’t land the way I wish it would. I want to feel what he sees…. and some days, I just don’t.
THE PRESSURE OF BEING “PRO-AGE”
And then there’s even another layer to all of this. I’m here, talking to you about confidence, about feeling good, about style after 50…. and yet some days I’m fighting these feelings myself. The whole idea of “pro-age” sounds beautiful, but living it? That’s harder than I expected, and this has all been since I turned 60. What is it about 60?!
WHY STYLE, FITNESS, & ROUTINE MATTER SO MUCH
This is exactly why fashion, fitness, and health are so important to me. They are not surface…. negotiable things, but literally my anchors. When I eat well, move my body, get dressed, and take the time to do my hair and makeup (even if it’s just 20 minutes), something shifts with me. I feel stronger. More capable. More like me!
I have to say this too…. I am so disciplined that it can almost be a hinderance. I push myself hard. And I have to ask, am I doing this because it helps me feel good, or because I feel like I need to “keep up” with who I used to be? Sometimes those lines get blurred.
WHAT ACTUALLY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MYSELF
When I do love myself…. really love myself, I feel like I can conquer the world. I can be so mean to myself! Can any of you relate? That love I’m talking about comes from staying connected to God through prayer and music, showing up for my family, working hard and feeling productive, and striving for harmony in my life. Not balance, because that is impossible.
My three words for 2026 are STILLNESS, BOND, and HARMONY. And not surprising, it’s the stillness that is the hardest one of all. I try to take a look (written in my reminders on my phone) at these words from time to time, to help keep me focused. They have really helped me, and I’d highly recommend doing this for yourself.
LET’S TALK ABOUT IT
So…. I’m asking you. Woman to woman, honestly, how are YOU doing this? How are you navigating the changes in your body, your confidence, and your identity? I know I’m not alone in this, so would LOVE to have you chime in. I get that it’s very personal, and really hard to be totally honest with yourself. But honestly is healing. I believe that this is where the real conversation begins!
HERE’S WHAT IS HELPING ME
On those days when I’m struggling the most, I’ve found it’s the smallest things that really help me with these emotions and feelings. Not big transformations….. simple, so simple. Doable things that make me feel a little more in control and put together, have saved me!
FIVE MINUTE MAKEUP MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE
VERY TYPICAL OF WHAT I WEAR AT HOME
I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FAVORITE INDULGENCE
I’ve learned that having a treat here and there really matters. Being too rigid with myself has actually backfired in the past, so I try to leave room for a little enjoyment….. and THESE have been my go-to sweet treat for years!
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This isn’t easy for me to share. I’ve always been a very private person and never liked people knowing when I’m struggling…. I’d much rather have everyone think I’ve got it all together. But aging has brought up more for me than I expected. If any of this resonates, I’d really love to hear from you. It helps to know we’re not alone. I’m so grateful for this community, and for my husband and family who support me every day!
Thank you for being so honest! I think menopause has a lot to answer for! Horrible Hormones! I can totally relate to what you have said in your blog. But trust me …you look totally fabulous in your photos and your outfits and hairstyles are such an inspiration to many women! I think we are a lot younger in our heads than our actual age and this is the key….we ARE older, we are aging, it’s just another phase to go through. You are doing the right things in being active and having interests. Enjoy! Sending you big hugs to cheer you up! 😍
Hello Sharon…… THANK YOU for your input here. The conversation is so healthy! There is such a shame attached to all of this, because there are much, MUCH harder things to go through than aging. But for sure….. I don’t like the wrinkles and all the things that go on, and oh my goodness, the hormones!!! And totally agree that in our heads we feel much younger than we are. I just want to get to the place of being happier with myself at 66. I felt a shift in my 40’s, then 50’s, and now 60’s. Did you feel that too, and have you felt it in your 70’s? I so appreciate your kindness Sharon. Thanks again, and let’s keep the conversation going! XOXO
Your honesty is very much appreciated and stands out from other bloggers who claim “to love their wrinkles because they’ve earned them,” whatever that means. I have never met a woman who “loves her wrinkles!” I find aging a challenge and with each passing year, I feel more invisible. It takes more work to maintain my skin and hair, but I find,
as you do, that it is essential to put on makeup and do my hair everyday. And you are right when you say it is a matter of
confidence. I feel more confident as an older woman when I put some effort into my appearance. And I am tired of people saying that grieving (and it is grief) the loss of your youth is shallow or vain. It is not. I am in my 70’s now and I love my life. I had a a successful career and am enjoying retirement and I also would love to look like I did in my 40’s. I feel good about myself and at the same time struggle with aging. These feelings are not mutually exclusive. I don’t spend my time or money trying to look younger. I only want to look like I care about my appearance and at least
look like I’ve accepted my age. I think your feelings are very normal. I find that women on social media just aren’t willing to admit it. I hope you have given them permission to do so.
Hello Shelby…… thank you for stopping by! It’s so good to hear other women’s perspectives! Women who LOVE THEIR WRINKLES??? No, I don’t know any either! I love though that you said that even though aging has been hard, you feel good about yourself. SELF LOVE is so vital, and that’s what I struggle with from time to time. If that’s gone, you’re no good for anyone else! I don’t spend much money on drastic changes either…… face-lift, fillers, plumbers, etc. I said in my blog that the little botox I was using, doesn’t even work anymore. Finding that place where even though we’re feeling our age, there is grace in it…… is hard. But I’m here to fight hard for it, and hopefully my determination will win!!!!!!!!! Have a wonderful week and THANKS AGAIN! We’ll talk soon! XO
Thank you for this space you’ve created — and for being so genuinely you from the very beginning. Your easygoing yet thoughtful approach to life is something so many of us quietly aspire to.
I hear you when you speak about aging — it’s a feeling so many share but few have the courage to voice. And yet, watching the intentional, graceful way you care for yourself is its own kind of inspiration. The lines life has written on your face aren’t flaws — they’re a memoir. Every one of them holds a laugh, a lesson, a late night, a hard-won triumph. They are proof that you have lived.
Your story isn’t just one of years passing — it’s one of growth, resilience, and remarkable accomplishment. And that story isn’t lost on the people who watch, listen, and love you.
You may be your own harshest critic, but the rest of us? We see something amazing. We see a woman of depth, warmth, and beauty that only deepens with time.
I know I speak for so many when I say: may you one day see yourself the way we see you. Because what we see is extraordinary.
Hello KL…. what a heartfelt and thoughtful comment, thank you! I appreciate your words of kindness very much. My goal is definitely to open up the conversation. It’s always so nice to know that you’re not the only one. And it’s not like I thought I was, but being able to engage with each other, gain encouragement from each other, and just to know there are others feeling the same way, is everything! I don’t mean to sound like I’m down in the dumps by any means…. just wanting to figure out how to accept this stage of life with more optimism and strength. I guess it’s just really surprised me. And I’m sure with time, it will feel better. Ha…… if only I didn’t feel like I was still 35!!!! LOL! Have a great week my friend! XO
Hi Shauna,
I can relate to what you’re saying, some days I look at my body; say Wow! I still got. Others, I’m like who’ this old lady, where’s my younger self, and what happen to my flair. I also push myself hard, always looking for ways to challenge myself. At 64 years young :), I exercise, eat healthy, and dress fabulous :). Recently, my younger friends (40’s) have starting calling me Auntie, at first, it brothered me, but now I see and accept it as a sign of respect. With age comes wisdom. I have a friend in her 80’s, she says she earned every wrinkle and she living her best life now. I found your blog in 2017 and look forward to every post, you speak too and for a lot older of women. You have inspired use to keep moving forward, enjoy the journey, and look Chic doing it.
Hi Devora! Thank you for your support here. It’s so fun to actually chat with my readers!! It sounds like YOU ARE living your best life along with your 80 year old friend. That’s a wonderful thing! I like that you have friends of all ages….. I’m like that as well. I’ve got young and old, and as women after a certain age…. it doesn’t matter who our besties are! I’m so glad you’re adding to the conversation! Thanks again, and you continue to be CHIC no matter! XOXO
Hi Shauna,
I hear you! 68 now, always been physically active and in shape, now the muscle tone is leaving and I have to work at the extra protein and more weight training. Sagging loose skin, nothing really fixes it. I tell myself “I’m here” many I have known are not, I have 5 beautiful grands and 3 wonderful grown healthy children . I think that is what we must focus on right? It’s tough when one used to be cute and no longer feels so. Love your blog and honesty.
Hi Karna….. thank you so much for joining the conversation! It means the world to me!! Yes for sure FAMILY is truly a gift and my main focus as well. They bring me such JOY! I’ve always felt that IF I’m doing MY BEST when it comes to my health…….. then that’s enough for me to really feel good about myself. And those things do make me feel better. But about your comment, “used to be cute”……. I’ve seen so many CUTE GRANDMAS out there, and I know that YOU are one! You keep being cute and keep doing your best, and let’s chat again soon! XOXO
I have decided aging well is an art. I am now 85. The last 3 years have brought many changes. I tire more easily and all the aches and pains are real. The arthritis has gotten worse but with the right medication I keep on going. I think that is the key. Keep going. It is hard mentally and emotionally to have to slow down so much but I am constantly adjusting to the new normal. I do what I can, remain active and count my blessings . I think an attitude of gratitude is a really good way to live. I am not done yet. As far as appearance, I have always just wanted to do the best I could with what I have. I love fashion and will not dress old. Many blessings to you. You look great and believe me, the sixties are not old. As a widow I married when I was 63 and it has been 22 years and wonderful.
Hi Kay! I LOVE LOVE LOVE what you said, “constantly adjusting to the new normal”. That’s what I feel like I’m doing, is constantly adjusting. You said it perfectly. And an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE is so key. Being able to recognize all the beauty around you is truly so important. Way to go…. 85 years YOUNG! And congrats on 22 years of WONDERFUL!!! BLESS YOU Kay and thank you for stopping by! XO
I turned 71 and it hit me hard. I am questioning where do I go from here. I don’t know and honestly it is depressing. Life has changed in a way I did not think would happen. And yes, also physically. I try to look my best but for me, it is not enough. We can’t turn back the clock. I try to just take one day at a time. I just wanted to grow old gracefully. That has not happened.
Hi Beautiful Lady!!!
Thank you for your heartfelt honesty. This post touched my heart deeply as I am feeling the exact same way. When I turned 60 everything changed, I am now 64. Like BAM what happened…mentally I feel many times depressed & anxious. Taking care of self has doubled in effort & work. The skin changes, muscle changes & I feel weaker so then I get angry at myself. Always prioritized physical fitness but now have really focused on keeping & building my muscle. Then there is the bones that we have to keep strong so a lot more bone building exercises. Doing skin care takes twice as long, skin is more crepey & saggy. Use red light mask on my face which I find makes a difference, also simplified my skin care as putting an over abundance of serums & creams on not helpful. Using the Newa device has helped firm especially the jaw line. Sometimes I just want to give up on it all but something keeps pushing me forward.
I never in a million years expected to feel this way!
So my thoughts now are to look the very best I can, YES it takes work but result of feeling good about self is worth it totally. Getting rid of the “someday” mentality & limit the procrastination mindset which is so depressing. Loving close people deeply, comfortable home & surrounding yourself with comfortable people is so good for the soul! Taking a leap of faith & doing things outside of my comfort zone also makes me feel alive, no matter how small the act is! Saying a prayer or doing a walking meditation soothes the mind & I always find myself more joyous after.
Being in our 60’s & showing the world the truth of it, the joys & the changes that happen in this time yet being the best version of self is a great honour & a great example for the ladies coming up behind us.
Shawna you are an amazing example of this & I thank you!
Lilly…. hey! Thanks for stopping by! Your comment sounds like me talking. I love at the end where you said, “SHOWING THE WORLD THE TRUTH OF IT, the joys & the changes that happen in this time….. an example for the ladies coming up behind us.” I couldn’t agree more Lilly. I feel like the generations before us, were so silent about so many things. THIS AGING is tough and yes we need to share. I’m like you, where if I’m doing MY BEST, then that’s enough…. at least it’s enough 95% of the time. I remember back on all the older ladies as I was growing up and being so impressed with the way the kept themselves. I would always think….. that’s going to be ME, and now here I am, hopefully doing that very thing. THANK YOU again for your thoughts on this. I truly do appreciate YOU my friend! Come back again soon! XO
Susan….. thank you so much for being so honest. It does catch you off guard, and I’m only 66! One day at a time, baby steps, being interested in people and things, staying active….. all good ways to live a full life! I absolutely know that BEING ACTIVE….. and I don’t mean exercise necessarily, but engaged in hobbies, people, activities is so important. Both of my parents were great examples of that. I hope you can find your HAPPINESS AND GRACE in all of this. Another thing that has helped me, is reinventing myself every now and then. That could mean a new haircut, new lipgloss, new style, new colors! But then again….. I’ve always been a fashionista and have found JOY in it! BLESSINGS TO YOU sweet friend! Thanks for your comment! XO
Yeah, 60’s are beating me up, and I feel everything and empathize with what you are writing .
At 63, I have bat wing arms…what??? The first time they ‘fluttered’, I gasped! What??… is this newfound ‘jiggle’???
I have been a fitness and gym buff since my 20’s. My arms and shoulders were a body part I felt really good about. Sleeveless or strapless I’m in it…not anymore. And so I adjust our wardrobe 🙂
At 63 every gym routine, and every mile I walk just feels harder with less result…gaah!!
Emotionally, this sucks, and I don’t want to ‘give up,’ but there are days when pyjamas, closing the blinds, and watching Netflix feel like the right remedy haha. But that’s not the answer, I just need to remember to slow down the mental noise and give myself grace.
I don’t begrudge this ‘new’ body, it’s still working hard, but after menopause, everything feels harder to maintain, hair, skin, energy, good sleep, and so is the acceptance of this new chapter. But little by little I learn to let go of the not-so-important parts and concentrate on what I need to feel good.
While my ‘packaging’ is not as ‘shiny’ as it used to be, my soul, my smile, and my personality can still shine through with every new encounter, as does yours ♥ We still have a lot of good to do, to experience, and to share.
For reference, I am petite like you.
Hello Anne! Thank you!! Your comment is so poetic…. you have a gift there! I do want to honor my body more too, be nicer, be less critical. It does work hard for me, and I don’t want to not be grateful for it. I guess like you said….. always being a health-conscious person, and then now all the sudden! It’s like overnight, and you start to see all these strange things happening. I won’t EVER GIVE UP either. Getting my workouts in are just as good for my head as they are for my body. May you always be shiny and smiling! Take care and THANKS again for joining in! XO
Dear Shauna,
It’s very refreshing that you share exactly the struggles you are facing as you see your face and body changing. I totally agree with you. It seems like it happens overnight. As I have progressed in the aging process it’s not been a cake walk seeing the bags, or dark circles under my eyes and all the wrinkles that have appeared around my mouth and the crepe type of skin now appearing on my arms and legs. I’m 74 1/2 and I had this goofy thought I would never age, I don’t know what I was thinking. I will share how I’m now handling all of the above issues. I’m thankful I can now go out and walk for 30 minutes again, and lift some light weights. I have RA and was diagnosed back in 2012 and a few other chronic health issues. That is the day that everything changed. I now TRY to focus on when I get out of bed that I can move my body so I can go out and walk. Once you are hit with a health diagnosis that changes your entire focus on yourself. Pain is tough to deal with, it stopped me from my marathon training, Yoga, hiking, weight lifting, gym workouts and so much more. Now, I’m thankful for walking and your face and body will age, what is left is how you respond to it all.
I feel strongly that if seeing your wrinkles is difficult and you are not comfortable on any level I think every women should consider having some rested look done. Have a consultation with the best plastic surgeon in your community.
On a personal note, I think you are totally adorable, I see you as a super star rock star, and so fit. But what is important is how you see yourself is what counts.
As I have advanced in age I look at a beautiful lady, and that is nice, BUT I now look for a good heart, thoughtful, and full of kindness. You get your thoughts priorities set in a different direction.
Sending you a joyful day.
Katherine hello sweet friend! I’m extremely happy with the responses here on this topic. You can really see how it resonates with midlife women!!! Yes I LOVE….. “what is left is how you respond to it all!” And THAT is where I want to get…. to more of an acceptance-type of place. I’ve already noticed a shift just in the last couple of months. I’ve worked so hard on these feelings, and want to be nicer to myself. I feel terrible that there are so many (and people I personally know) that are fighting for their lives. I’m just aging, that’s it. No big deal…. and I mean that. I’m so grateful for my strong body!! I pray for each of those people by name (and you will now be one of them Katherine), every single morning. It makes me ashamed in a way, but at the same time….. let’s talk about how we can love ourselves more. BEST WISHES to you Katherine, on your health journey. Come back again soon! XO
Hi Shauna,
My SF girlfriend just returned from her Y work out and saw this message on a tee shirt. I liked it, and I thought you might too.
“Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” I love that! I thought you might too. I’m a recovering perfectionist and it’s so true. I think I’m getting better. According to my husband he said, “no.” I thought oh shucks! I’m afraid he is probably right!!!
Oh my goodness Katherine….. I’m too much of a perfectionist too, so THANK YOU for sharing!!!!!! I/we need that tee shirt! 🙂 XO
I am 73 and my 94 year old mother lives with me. I am feeling exactly like you are feeling Shauna. It seems like everyone has had work done and it makes it even more difficult to accept the aging process when you look around. You are doing a remarkable job / you are as cute as they come and thank you for your honesty.
Hello Julie…… yes the SOCIAL PRESSURES are daunting! So much noise, right? And BLESS YOU for taking care of your mother. That’s an incredible gift you’re giving to her!! I appreciate your kind words Julie, thank you! I really do struggle with ALL OF YOU out there. You’re just seeing the pictures and there’s lots that goes on behind the scenes!! It’s good to chat with you though. I don’t know what it is exactly that it does to ease things, but it does. Hope to hear from you again soon, and lots of LOVE this Mother’s Day for you and your mom! XOXO
I’ve found it incredibly hard in my 50s so hearing it doesn’t get better is hard. I’m still in the work world and hope to be for some time, as I desperately need the medical insurance, but once you turn 50 you might as well be did in the corporate world. I am in a terribly depressing and minimizing job, and I have not been able to get anywhere with a new job, despite a new resume, redoing my style to appear younger and trying to minimize my age and experience. I’m “too qualified” or just “not the right fit”-meaning, we were hoping for someone younger. The wrinkles and aging and the misery of menopause have about worn me out.
Mel…. thank you for chiming in. I know it’s hard to admit these emotions (and we’re all having them on some level), but the conversation helps. Knowing we’re not going crazy is a good thing I suppose! I’m sorry you struggle with your work. Environment really does affect how we feel. I guess I would just say to you, make sure that your home feels good, and your friends feel good, possibly church. Surround yourself with uplifting music. I feel worn out too, but I know that there are MORE positive things that we need to find a way to focus on. I have so many friends who are dealing with sickness, loss, betrayal….. and so all this aging stuff is minor. I think that’s a lot of the shame in this. Anyway….. I hope that you can find some peace in your efforts with your health Mel. BLESS YOU!! XO
I’ll be 57 next week and age changes are starting to hit me hard from the way I look to the way I walk. I can see it. i can feel it. Then some days I can put on something cute and have a good hair day and I feel better.
You inspire me more than you know.
Lisa
Hi Lisa! Thank you…. ALWAYS nice to hear from you. Yep…. it was in my 50’s when I started to really feel the effects of aging. And it’s so true that when you feel like you look cute, it doesn’t seem quite so bad. Enjoy your 50’s girlfriend…… and don’t give up. When I know I’m doing my best….. taking care of my health, staying active, eating well, resting, hydrating, and staying close to God, I feel more at peace with aging. I’m learning to trust that this is enough!!! Take care Lisa! XO
I’ll be 63 this summer – and I can so relate!! I’ve always been into fitness; running, weight lifting, eating enough protein – all the things – and yet, once I turned 60, everything has become more difficult and less effective. And the marionette lines around my mouth…ugh!! When I get a bit down, I try to focus on the many things I have to be thankful for, and the ways I can still be relevant. It’s not easy, but what other choice do we have?
Hi Amanda….. thank you for stopping by. This conversation is so good and I appreciate your thoughts. What I loved most about your comment is, “what other choice do we have?” TRUE! You can face it head on with a smile on your face, or let it take you down. It’s a very good point! What will matter in the end is how we were able to ENDURE everything. The biggest thing for me, are the dreadful feelings I get sometimes (due to hormones and menopause). I can really see how that alone, could take women down. Thanks again for chiming in. Continue to be thankful and I know you ARE relevant! XO
Perfect day for me to find this. I’ve been feeling worse about my appearance lately with no changes to my routine other than time (or so I think, then realize all the other things that could be affecting me, because no one gets to be over 60 without things happening). It’s hard to let go of expecting to see a result, a muscle tone, a reflection in the mirror, when things felt like they were all looking pretty much the same for a long time. You still look fabulous, and I remember your blog from when I was much younger and always thought of you as the hot one. Still hot! I know I worry way too much about how I look and am trying to enjoy feeling good for as long as possible. Some days are rough, though, for all of us.
Hello Beth…. I’m so glad you found this post. I’ve thought so much about all this and how we are all affected by age and what it does to us. If at all possible I hope that this blog made you feel so NOT ALONE! For whatever reason, that is comforting to know it’s not only you! I would dare say, that on some level, every woman goes through this. The only thing I know is to do those things that will make my body healthy and feel my best. I mean….. what else can we do, right? There are surgeries, and fillers, etc., but we still have to find peace with it. I hope you can. I hope you truly know that you’re not alone here, and that just talking to other women helps tremendously!!! Have a wonderful week, and please stop by again soon! XO