I thought it was fitting, since I had this fabulous picture from Valentines Day….. to talk about LOVE at midlife and beyond. Since I’ve been blogging I’ve talked to many of my followers about this topic. When I began Chic Over 50, I was married. When I filed I had been married for 39 years. I’ve kept that part of my life very private, with only tidbits of “stuff” here and there. I’ve shared only enough for people to know that I was divorced and now remarried and in a VERY HAPPY marriage.
A lot of people have asked me about how I went about it all. Why I left my marriage, how I left my marriage, how did I do emotionally after that long, how I met my new husband and how did I find such a good man. It all started with my blog. Chic Over 50 was the platform and avenue I needed to be able to move on.
Scared? YES! I hadn’t ever supported myself, and so had to make sure that was in place before I made any moves. I remember specifically one afternoon adding up my earnings from my blog, and realized I did in fact have enough to support myself. First of all, I couldn’t believe it. And second of all, I suddenly felt this #ladyboss type of power from within. I COULD DO THIS.
One of my biggest fears was that I would never find a decent man out there. In my world, MOST divorces were because of infidelity coming from the husband. So in my mind I was thinking, they are all going to have these issues. In fact my ex told me that very thing when I had suggested to him a divorce.
So committed I was, and I was off to file. That day was indeed one of the most POWERFUL days of my life. The load that was lifted off my shoulders was tremendous! I absolutely knew my path was changing and that I would be ok. I was out to find LOVE at midlife and beyond!!!
Prior to all this, a young girl had reached out to me wanting to introduce me to her dad. We chatted online, I told her I was married, and that was that. I couldn’t stop thinking about this man for about nine months. The day I filed, I reached out to her and told her, “I’m ready to meet your dad.”
That seems so long ago, and yet it seems like last week. I’ve been married now to this wonderful man for almost a year and a half. I feel so safe and respected and valued and LOVED. The anxiety I felt in my first marriage was off the chart. I just don’t feel that anymore. A close friend said to me after I had filed, “Shauna you don’t know what marriage is. You will one day find out how happy and safe it can feel.” I sure have!!
So….. my advice to any woman out there that is going through crap in their marriage, or is divorced and wanting to find a companion, would be this. I think it has to be authentic. I believe the best way to find a husband is to not look for a husband. I think love will come when you’re not looking. Mine was totally that way.
I think by taking care of yourself and living a fulfilled life outside of relationships, you will be happy which will then attract LOVE. Now with this being said…. I was had to go through the feelings of being ALONE! I went straight from divorce to a relationship and then to marriage eleven months later. I never struggled with the loneliness that so many are feeling.
My relationship with God was somedays the only thing that kept me going. Someone said to me the other day that my marriage was a MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN…… there is no doubt. These last five years have been carefully orchestrated by HIM. I’m grateful. So…. stay close to your God!!!
I’m hoping that something I said here will help the next woman out there. I feel a great responsibility to support and help through my blog. Every story is different but has all of the same emotions. Stay strong and live every day one at a time. Day by day and step by step…. YOU WILL GET THROUGH! LOVE at midlife and beyond IS realistic! If it happened for me, it can happen for anyone!
My ENGAGEMENT is here.
My WEDDING is here.
It’s a good thing I read this blog before I had makeup on! Everything you have written, the video and the pictures have brought back the vivid memory of those happy times! And your love has even gotten better! I love you both so much and am so grateful your dad was still here with us. His reactions were unexpected and so loving! xoxoxo
Mom……. the whole thing was such a miracle! First that dad was able to give me that blessing, then that he was alive and able to meet Lorin so many times! I’m so grateful he got to know him and know that he would take good care of me. And then that we decided to have our wedding there in your yard, and that he woke up just in time to witness us getting married. The whole thing is amazing. We were just going through our wedding album the other day and saw his signature in our book……. Lee Hansen! LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH! XOxoxoxoxo
It is difficult to make that decision to leave when the world wants you to stay. Thank you for your truth and encouraging words. Many blessings to you snd your new husband. I love your blog.
Sharon….. thank you so much for stopping by! And thank you more for your kind words! It does take so much courage and faith to make that decision, but THANK HEAVENS I did. I haven’t looked back for even a second! Take care sweet friend! XO
I look forward to your blog each week. I feel your strength, see your beauty and I feel empowered. I’m so happy for you and your husband and the beautiful life you share. Wishing you both all God’s blessings.
Cassandra…. thank you! How sweet of you to say all these kind things! Feeling empowered as a woman at ANY AGE is incredible. I wish EVERY woman could feel this way! Wishing you ALL THE BEST! XO
You are such an inspiration. The dress, I mean jumpsuit was amazing. Happy Anniversary on September 15 which is also my wedding anniversary. It is a perfect day to be married. 👰🏻
Hello Susan, THANK YOU! Yes the jumpsuit! It was spectacular….. right?!! I think I’m going to get it back out and wear it for our 2nd year anniversary! By the way we were married on the 7th of September, but September is a BEAUTIFUL month to get married in for sure! Take care sweet friend! XO
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