I thought it was fitting, since I had this fabulous picture from Valentines Day….. to talk about LOVE at midlife and beyond. Since I’ve been blogging I’ve talked to many of my followers about this topic. When I began Chic Over 50, I was married. When I filed I had been married for 39 years. I’ve kept that part of my life very private, with only tidbits of “stuff” here and there. I’ve shared only enough for people to know that I was divorced and now remarried and in a VERY HAPPY marriage.
A lot of people have asked me about how I went about it all. Why I left my marriage, how I left my marriage, how did I do emotionally after that long, how I met my new husband and how did I find such a good man. It all started with my blog. Chic Over 50 was the platform and avenue I needed to be able to move on.
Scared? YES! I hadn’t ever supported myself, and so had to make sure that was in place before I made any moves. I remember specifically one afternoon adding up my earnings from my blog, and realized I did in fact have enough to support myself. First of all, I couldn’t believe it. And second of all, I suddenly felt this #ladyboss type of power from within. I COULD DO THIS.
One of my biggest fears was that I would never find a decent man out there. In my world, MOST divorces were because of infidelity coming from the husband. So in my mind I was thinking, they are all going to have these issues. In fact my ex told me that very thing when I had suggested to him a divorce.
So committed I was, and I was off to file. That day was indeed one of the most POWERFUL days of my life. The load that was lifted off my shoulders was tremendous! I absolutely knew my path was changing and that I would be ok. I was out to find LOVE at midlife and beyond!!!
Prior to all this, a young girl had reached out to me wanting to introduce me to her dad. We chatted online, I told her I was married, and that was that. I couldn’t stop thinking about this man for about nine months. The day I filed, I reached out to her and told her, “I’m ready to meet your dad.”
That seems so long ago, and yet it seems like last week. I’ve been married now to this wonderful man for almost a year and a half. I feel so safe and respected and valued and LOVED. The anxiety I felt in my first marriage was off the chart. I just don’t feel that anymore. A close friend said to me after I had filed, “Shauna you don’t know what marriage is. You will one day find out how happy and safe it can feel.” I sure have!!
So….. my advice to any woman out there that is going through crap in their marriage, or is divorced and wanting to find a companion, would be this. I think it has to be authentic. I believe the best way to find a husband is to not look for a husband. I think love will come when you’re not looking. Mine was totally that way.
I think by taking care of yourself and living a fulfilled life outside of relationships, you will be happy which will then attract LOVE. Now with this being said…. I was had to go through the feelings of being ALONE! I went straight from divorce to a relationship and then to marriage eleven months later. I never struggled with the loneliness that so many are feeling.
My relationship with God was somedays the only thing that kept me going. Someone said to me the other day that my marriage was a MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN…… there is no doubt. These last five years have been carefully orchestrated by HIM. I’m grateful. So…. stay close to your God!!!
I’m hoping that something I said here will help the next woman out there. I feel a great responsibility to support and help through my blog. Every story is different but has all of the same emotions. Stay strong and live every day one at a time. Day by day and step by step…. YOU WILL GET THROUGH! LOVE at midlife and beyond IS realistic! If it happened for me, it can happen for anyone!
My ENGAEMENT is here.
My WEDDING is here.