I never in a million years would have thought way back when, that I would be a part of a MODERN DAY FAMILY. Divorce wasn’t in my plan, for me OR my children. I, like many of you, wanted the happily ever after family that had been together for years. But that wasn’t in the stars for me. Now at midlife, I find myself learning all about the MODERN FAMILY.
A modern day family can mean many things. To me it means a family that isn’t the norm….. male and female parents and children. It could mean a family with one parent, or a family that consists of a divorced couple along with their re-married counterparts, all gathering as one. That would be me. This was a bit hard for me at first….. now it is what it is, and I’ve seen how it can work.
THE PAIN OF DIVORCE
When my boys divorced, it broke my heart for many reasons. Recognizing the complications that come from divorce, worried me. It always affects the kids I feel, more than the spouse. I worried for them and their wellbeing. I worried about my sons of course, and wished for them a healthy and happy marriage. And third I LOVED their wives.
I knew that no matter what, it wouldn’t be the same with my ex-daughter-in-laws. It never is. I remember crying in a parking lot saying goodbye to my sweet daughter-in-law when she left. I was going to miss her, we had so much in common. We loved shopping and talking makeup, clothes and all things fashion. But I had to let go, and so I did.
HOW I’VE BEEN BLESSED BY MY MODERN DAY FAMILY
As time has passed, my relationship with my ex-daughter-in-law has become even stronger I feel. We have always been able to connect in a very personal way. She has loved me, respected me and her kindness is unmatched. Some have asked me “why”? Why would I want to stay over at her house when I come to town? The answer is very simple…. she makes me feel welcome. I feel her LOVE and KINDNESS, period. She ALWAYS THANKS ME for the time I spend with her girls. Those thank you’s mean everything to me.
My husband’s family, have always gathered together for holidays and vacations, and I mean EVERYONE. His ex-wife and her husband and family are all a part. To be honest, this was very hard at first. In fact I remember in particular, our first Christmas as a married couple, it was hard. We didn’t really have our own. But this is what it was, and I knew I had to get used to it. His ex-wife has been lovely to me. It was more the thought of me having Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc. with everyone.
I’m grateful for how I’ve evolved in my MODERN DAY FAMILY. There can be great blessings in it. If you find yourself in this situation, I hope that you can see the positives in it too. It can be hard for sure, but if you are open-minded and trust that things happen for a reason (as I believe), it can make it all really beautiful!