UNEXPECTED EMOTIONS AFTER SIXTY
Ever since I turned 60…. now nearing 66, I’ve begun experiencing something I never expected….. quiet waves of dread. They most often come in the early morning, though they have happened other times too. It’s a heavy, depressed feeling that doesn’t quite make sense, especially for someone who has never considered herself a depressed person. Thankfully, these moments usually pass once I get moving and busy with my day. Still, a few weeks ago the feeling lingered for two days. Seriously it really scared me. I felt hopeless, joyless, and super sad. I was embarrassed to tell anyone, mostly my husband, until a couple weeks later. Embarrassed….. because I am strong, capable, and an optimistic person. I don’t like people feeling sorry for me.
SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS
I’ve wondered why, for all this time. Could it be hormonal? I’ve chosen not to take hormone therapy because I’ve heard difficult stories of weight changes, side effects, and things worsening rather than improving. I did briefly try a very low dos at a doctor’s suggestion, but after only two days I felt weird, and stopped. Because I value my health and feel so good otherwise, I hesitate to experiment with something that might disrupt that balance.
When I asked my newsletter readers about their experiences, I felt immediate relief. At least I wasn’t the only one. Many women wrote to me saying yes, this happens to them too. No one had a clear medical explanation, though many also suspected hormones. Nearly all shared similar ways of coping: prayer, exercise, meaningful hobbies, God, and staying spiritually grounded. These are the same things helping me, and I’m grateful they do, but I still find myself wondering where these feelings come from.
WHAT MIGHT BE HAPPENING
Many women experience emotional shifts in their 60’s studies show. Hormone levels remain low after menopause. Changes in sleep, brain chemistry, life transitions, and even quiet reflections on aging can all contribute to brief feelings of sadness or the dread I’m talking about. Experts say that depression risk can double during this time. Medical summaries report that 15-50% of postmenopausal women experience mood swings and depression. While unsettling, these moments are often temporary and surprisingly common. Knowing this can be comforting, it reminds us we are not alone, and certainly not going crazy!
MOVING FORWARD WITH HOPE
For now, I continue leaning into the practices that bring peace… prayer, movement, connection, purpose, and faith. These steady anchors help the waves pass more quickly and remind me that joy is still very present. Aging may bring change, and sometimes it may feel like the process accelerates. It’s good to note, that scientists have discovered that there can be long periods of feeling somewhat stable, but then certain decades will have noticeable differences, 40’s and 60’s. These times can have bigger visible transitions.
If you’ve felt this too, I woud love to hear from you. You are not alone in wondering what the heck is going on. I would have thought way back when, that at this age I would have all this kind of stuff worked out! Perhaps the greatest comfort is knowing that even in moments of heaviness, light still returns….. most often sooner than we expect.
TAKE A LOOK AT THESE JOURNALS BELOW…. ALL SO HELPFUL
Thank you for your post. I am the same age as you are and I have the same feelings off and on. I am curious what are you doing for yourself since you are not on HRT?
Hello Brenda…. thank you for stopping by. I have to say it has been so reassuring that there are others that have felt this way too. I don’t know why that is…… maybe just a validation that I’m not crazy!! I just make sure I’m exercising, eating as best as I can, and prayer. Prayer can be meditation, or just whatever that looks like for you. One lady who I’ve been talking to relies heavy on the spiritual and says that is the #1 biggest help to her. For me, if I feel good physically I feel better in all other aspects of my life. I’ve also noticed that being outdoors helps too. The fresh air and different environment…. away from my computer, really does feel good. Wishing you all the best as you work through these emotions. Keep me posted!!!! XOXO
I think we are experiencing these emotions because we know that even though we have lived a full and happy life that the majority of our life is now behind us. Transitions are difficult. We have lost people we love but gaining new generations with others. I am watching the man of my dreams battling an insidious disease knowing that the outcome will leave me devastated. This fact alone will cause a depressing and hopeless feeling.
I agree that to keep moving and focusing on positive thoughts does make the fight a little bit easier.
Hello Wendy…. first THANK YOU for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it. And second, I’m so sorry for the struggle with your husband’s health. That’s got to be so hard! Many prayers coming your way! Yes, I do believe that striving for optimism in ALL things makes a huge difference. I remember in the middle of all my crap with my ex, thinking that things could be worse, and they always can. Focusing on the good things, even as small as can be, can really lead our minds and hearts to a better place. You take care, and absolutely…. I’ll be praying for you both! XOXO
Thank you for your sweet response! We both were able to move beyond all the issues with exes and be blessed with true love!
Yes, thank heavens my friend!! XO
A big Thank You for your post & your honesty about this time in life! Yes..I have felt this to when I reached 60. So many changes are noticed, mostly small niggly things but also bigger things that show & are disheartening, ie skin sagging, more wrinkles, longer recovery times after workouts, resilience is less. I also go through feelings of depression…doing my workouts, walking daily in nature is my non negotiable, gratitude journaling. Focusing on making my immediate world better, showing up with love & speading it around to family, friends, to my neighborhood & strangers always fills my heart. It is wonderful to talk about this as it is real & it makes people going through this less alone! Have a wonderful day!
Lilly….. yes to everything you’re saying!!! Thank you so much! Serving is a huge one, isn’t it? It’s funny how it shifts your focus to a healthier place. And the outdoors and walks, etc. truly is a non-negotiable! Working at a desk in front of a computer for many hours a day, can really get you. I have to be very mindful of when it’s time to get up and do something else. And absolutely SO COMFORTING knowing that you aren’t whacked out! LOL!! Before I started talking about this, I really did think something was wrong with me. So talking and sharing is definitely going to help others!! You take care, and thanks again for your input!!!! XOXO
I have to say there are alternate forms of HRT that have been very beneficial for me. They’re known as bio-identical HRT and use food derived , plant based therapies. In forms of pellets and/or oral drops. All very helpful. Having come from a background of mental health issues, I sought plant based early in. Around mid-fifties. I’m now turning 75 this year and still continue on the therapy. Research in your local area, to find a doctor who utilizes that format. The results are amazing and help me feel my ‘normal’ self.
Robyn thank you for your input here. Everyone’s journey is so unique. I’m happy you’ve had success for so long. That’s wonderful. Half the battle is figuring out WHAT WORKS FOR YOU! I definitely will look into it more. Mine hasn’t been so debilitating I can’t function or anything like that. I think what scared me a bit was just a couple of days together, where things felt a little dark. But THANKS again for stopping by! Have a wonderful week! XO
You’re MOST welcome! Appreciate your comments and speaking about difficult challenges. There are answers and I just felt led to share. It’s not in your head, I was told. There is a physical reason and now answers for ‘women in our mature years. You’ve got such a servants heart, and I’m confident you’ll find answers to meet your needs.
Robyn thank you once again. This is such a valuable conversation, and I’m so happy I’ve got a platform where we can share and help each other. Have a great week! XO
Shauna, I can definitely relate to how you’re feeling. I’m 65, and have experienced the same feelings of dread. I have no doubt that hormones play a part, but I have been reluctant to try HRT for many of the same reasons that you mentioned, I have a Peloton instructor…Jenn Sherman…who is close to our age. She is calling this season of life our “back 9,” a term that I’m sure you’re familiar with as a golfer. We’re at a stage where there is more life behind us than in front of us, which can certainly be a sobering thought. But, like her, I am trying to take care of myself because, in spite of that, I’m in this for the long haul. I think that knowing and accepting this phase can also be freeing. I no longer have time to waste on things that stress me or don’t bring joy into my life. You’re a vibrant, beautiful, and successful woman, and an inspiration to many. I have no doubt that you will sort this stage of life out…you have overcome obstacles in your life and will figure this out too. Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty, and keep on keeping on.
Hello Kay…. thank you for adding your thoughts here. I feel VERY fortunate to have an optimistic demeanor. I can see for those who already struggle with depression-type issues, where this could really throw them over the top. Women have to go through so much crap! But we don’t have much of a choice (other than diet, exercise, etc.) and so doing it with grace and a smile on our faces, certainly is the best option. Every season of life has its challenges, and I think this is a big one….. that I never heard about!! I wonder sometimes if my mom knew that the emotional part of menopause was a thing. But always much to be grateful for, and I choose to focus on that. Thank you again Kay, I truly do appreciate it!!! Have a great week! XO
I’m 73 but a young, fit, mostly-healthy 73. This year has brought a lot of loss of family and friends and with the current political situation, a lot of sadness. I too have felt despair and a heaviness in my heart many days. Coupled with a very cold, snowy winter here in New England it’s been hard to find glimpses of light. I’ve read wonderful books -Theo of Golden and the Correspondent among them – which have lifted my spirits a bit. Regular classes at my gym and the sense of community there have also helped. And I’m not averse to a gummy once in awhile to take the edge off of my anxiety. And then I think of what my Dad always said when I cried as a child.. ‘better days are coming honey, better days are coming. Here’s to Spring and staying healthy and being kind always. Better days are coming!
Hi Liz….. THANK YOU for adding your thoughts to the conversation. When you speak of your dad, it brought tears to my eyes. I am forever saying, “Getting old isn’t for sissies!” This is a saying my dad said all the time. Now that I’m 65, turning 66 soon, I totally get it! I love thinking back on him and the impact both he and my mama left on me. Certainly, better days are ahead, and much to be grateful for. Doing all the things you are, is a huge help to you I know, as I do many of the same things. I do wish I could get myself to sit down and read, but it puts me to sleep!! You take care Liz, and come back again soon! I really appreciate your words of wisdom!!! XOXO